TellAll Book of the Headmaster's Office
by LoveMyCrazyFriends
Summary: I am The Hogwarts Sorting Hat. Haven't you ever wondered what I've seen and heard while in the headmaster's office? Well now you know...
1. Chapter 1

**Okay, so this is my first Harry Potter fan fic, so go easy on me… I have always been slightly fascinated by the Hogwarts Sorting Hat, so I thought a story about it would be good.**

I am the Hogwarts Sorting Hat. All I really do is sit in the head master's office. Haven't you ever wondered what I've seen and heard in there? Well, whether you're curious about that or not, I thought I'd write a tell-all book on what I've seen.

Chapter One: Snape's First Kiss

It was a cold night during the war. Professor Snape, who was the new headmaster, was pacing back and forth, occasionally looking at the door as if he was waiting for someone. Then suddenly the door burst open and in walked Pansy Parkinson.

"Professor Snape!" She screamed and hurried into the room.

"What is it Pansy?" so this is who he was waiting for… weird…

"It's that _Weasley._She's at it again!"

"Well, well, well. What has she done now?"

"That army! They are forming up again!"

"Well, I'm not surprised, she did hang around with Potter. Punishment will be enforced." I always liked the Weasleys and Potter, they were good kids.

Pansy moved closer to Snape and he tensed up.

"Professor, that is such a good idea." She gushed. "You are the smartest headmaster this school as ever seen."

"Well, Miss Parkinson, you are the smartest witch at this school, not to mention the most attractive." He moved closer to her.

"What about that Lily Potter?" Pansy asked.

"That was a long time ago; I think I've moved on Miss Parkinson."

"Please Professor, call me Pansy." She put her arms around his neck and looked into his eyes.

"Well Pansy, what about you and Draco?"

"Malfoy? We are old news."

"Well, in that case, call me Severus." He put his hands on her waste.

"Okay _Severus_." She said seductively.

"Pansy, can you believe I never had my first kiss?"

"Well, I can fix that." She said and leaned in to kiss him. They kissed for a long time and I wished someone would turn me around so I didn't have to watch.

They broke apart and Pansy left the headmaster's office saying something about seeing him tomorrow. Once the door was shut and Pansy was out of hearing, Snape let out a loud "YES!"

He started dancing around his office singing "I kissed Pansy, I kissed Pansy. Take that Malfoy!" To be honest, his singing and dancing needed some work. Still singing his song, he started jumping up and down and doing what I think was supposed to be a cartwheel. Some things are not meant to be seen… or done at all… 

**Future chapters will be coming if you want. Review and tell me what you think!**


	2. Chapter 2

**I didn't get a lot of feedback on this story, but I'm going to continue to update it anyway because I like to write about the Sorting Hat.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter**

Chapter 2: Merry Christmas, Harry

It was bright day for December, Professor Dumbledore was scurrying, yes Dumbledore scurries, about his office looking for something. He was muttering about "the Hallows" and like always, I sat on my table watching.

He made his way to an old, abandoned chest in the farthest corner of his office and used some very advanced magic to unlock it. He knelt on the ground in front of it and started tossing things out of it. There were some old socks that smelled terrible, old potion bottles containing potions that looked like they would kill you if you drank them, books that looked too frail to be thrown the way Dumbledore was throwing them, and finally the most magnificent thing I'd ever seen.

It was an old cloak, one I was only once before, but I couldn't exactly remember when or where. Dumbledore put it on and he vanished before my eyes. I gasped and if Dumbledore heard me, he didn't say anything. I heard him walk over to a mirror and I guessed he looked at himself, but I couldn't tell because he was invisible.

He took off the cloak seeming pleased.

"It's time that I returned this to its rightful owner." He said to no one in particular and folded it up neatly. He used some beautiful silver wrapping paper to wrap it up. Then, he wrote a note on a piece of parchment. Dumbledore was at his desk, which was awfully far away from my personal table, so I didn't see all that he wrote, but I did see "use it well."

He attached the piece of parchment to the silver paper and walked over to his Phoenix and said to him: "Take this to Harry Potter, but don't let him see you."

The bird left and Dumbledore sat at his desk and sighed.

**Any requests for future chapters will be accepted along with reviews :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Okayyy, still no reviews, but that's okay. Maybe if I keep updating someone will review… Anyway, here's chapter 3!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter… oh and if I have dates and facts wrong, I'm sorry. I wasn't exactly sure if McGonagall and Dumbledore went to school together or not, but I thought this would be cute.**

Chapter Three: McGonagall's' Secret

On a warm day, all the students at Hogwarts were outside enjoying clean air during break. Sadly for me, I was stuck at my normal table watching Dumbledore.

He was sitting at his desk playing with something that I couldn't see. I continued to watch him and I wondered if he ever thought about how no matter what he's doing, I'm sitting here watching. I wish I didn't have to, I wish I could do _anything_ but sit here and watch headmasters come and go and do who-knows-what.

I was thinking about this when there was a knock at the door and Dumbledore told whoever it was to enter. Professor McGonagall came into the office and went straight to Dumbledore.

"Dumbledore," she started, "I don't know how much longer I can put up with her."

I didn't know who she was talking about, but I couldn't ask her.

"Minerva, I understand, but it's out of my hands, the Ministry is taking over. I can't make her leave." Dumbledore seemed agitated. "I don't like her any more than you do, but Umbridge is here to stay."

Umbridge? Ahhh the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. Apparently she isn't well liked.

"Dumbledore? Surely there is _something _you can do?"

"Sorry Minerva, but there isn't." he then stood up. "I must go Minerva, if you wish, you can wait here for me. I won't be long, but I have a feeling Professor Snape needs me." And with that he left.

Professor McGonagall stayed and sat down in Dumbledore's desk and picked up whatever it was the he had been playing with. I still couldn't see what it was. It looked like a piece of old parchment, but I knew it had to be something more. McGonagall smiled and sighed.

Suddenly she looked over at me and smiled.

"You must get awfully lonely over there all by yourself. I bet Dumbledore never tells you what's going on, you probably have to figure it out on your own."

It wasn't normal for anyone to acknowledge me so I kept silent.

"Well, I think you are probably wondering what this piece of paper is." She looked at me again and sighed. "Well it's an old love letter to Dumbledore. Would you like to hear it?"

I was shocked. That's Dumbledore's business, not mine or hers.

"I do not think that would be proper ma'am." I said.

She nodded and said, "Well in that case, I think I'll just read it out loud for my own enjoyment."

I was trapped, there was nothing I could do but sit there and listen.

"Dear Albus," she began and I mentally sighed. "you probably are incredibly busy, but if you should find this, please read it. I love you and I always have. I've wanted to tell you since I first saw you on the Hogwarts' Express in our first year. Now, it's our seventh year and I don't know where we will end up after this. But why would you, the greatest wizard of this generation, possibly ever, love a Quidditch playing girl like me? I don't know. I am probably crazy for even writing this, but I need to know: do you love me too? Love, Minerva McGonagall."

She looked up at me and I continued to sit there in shock. I didn't know what to think, it was just too weird.

"Sorting Hat, things are about to change and bad things are about to happen, but one thing I have learned recently is that no matter what, you will never forget your true love. Never." Then suddenly a tear ran down her face.

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